Britney Spears’ “Perfume” single cover

Febreze helps us to tackle the toughest household odors caused by pets, trash and messy kids. However, we’re going to need much more than air freshener to get rid of the stench caused by Britney Spears’ new song, “Perfume”.

Produced by will.i.am, and co-written by Spears and Sia, “Perfume” is the official second single from Spears’ upcoming Britney Jean album – also known as Come See Me in Las Vegas – due on December 3. Unlike its uptempo gay club anthem predecessor, “Work Bitch”, “Perfume” is supposedly an emotional ballad to which we can all relate: Narcolepsy Infidelity.

Pausing the dance beats and the high octane choreography that have defined the last five years of her career, Spears retreats to a more vulnerable dimension of her artistry. By that, I’m referring to her attempts at singing without auto-tune.

From the depths of her nasal cavity, Spears croons about her suspicions that her lover is cheating with another woman as she lets the world witness her insecurities. Unfortunately, her message is lost in a mix of snot and what I’m assuming is a bad head cold.

On the bright side, “Perfume” would be a great choice for one of Spears’ many fragrance ads. Don’t pretend as though you haven’t been lured by the pretty colours in the commercials and bought at least one bottle of Curious for your mother for Christmas. Sorry, JLo.

“Curious smell good though”